you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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