so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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