When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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