He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
