Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
