Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i came on her dog
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize