I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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