You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
