I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just google imaged poop.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
