Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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