the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
