We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Your cock deserves a montage
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
