Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Congratulations! We have a period
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