They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
