Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize