Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Randomize
