I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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