let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize