Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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