I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize