I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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