I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
