i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
