with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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