Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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