And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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