a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Actions speak louder than pants.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
