I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
