Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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