His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
