please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
