I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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