i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize