Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
50% drunk capacity currently
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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