question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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