A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
