She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
