The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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