I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He passed out mid-signature
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
