So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
