I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
