My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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