we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
