Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
