my being single is dangerous.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
