May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
