ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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