I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
