Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
