Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
