Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
