dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
