He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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