I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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