This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
