oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
