Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
