writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize