At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
