Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
