Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
