even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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