She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
this boner is exhausting
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
