I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
