So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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