My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
birth control should be required to get into college
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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