If i come over, it means nothing
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
