Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
