Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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