You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
