Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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