I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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